Purpose: Justification: Motive: Worth

Certain members of my community have brought to my attention the fact that the weather is changing for the colder crisper snowier. Yes, I realize that I should have observed this fact on my own as it is relatively unavoidable if one ever has to step foot out of the dorm room we have so been blessed with to inhabit and sleep under the roof of. Perhaps I realized it subconsciously, because the darker the day, the less bright the mood- not in an 'oh life sucks' way, but in a 'perhaps there is more meaning to life, the universe and every(little)thing we do than we give it' kind of way and a 'why the ____ does everyone always walk around like they are having the time of their lives?' way. Not that I start to question my 'religious' views per say, but more that I begin to question the motives for all actions and beliefs and behaviors, specifically mine. For an example that doesn't really make sense or pertain to anything: this piece of art is not in this entry for any other fact than that I like looking at it. After that fact, I tend to analyze every small pointless (is it?) detail, such as my motives- did I want others to experience something that I thought was beautiful? or do I just want to look cultured and down with modern art? I hope thats not the motive. If it helps, I randomly found that picture online while looking at some political billboard artist documentary thingy. The fact I know it even exists is an accident. Or is it? This is what I mean. When the Bible points to the fact that G_D knows the number of every hair on our heads, is that supposed to point to G_D's omniscience or that G_D actually cares about every smallest detail in the things we do and our motives for our most seemingly insignificant actions? Is the way I (have not) organized my desk of any eternal significance, or any meaning at all in any run, long or short? At this point, I usually play donkey kong country, or write one of these confusing blogs, or run out and find the closest friend with a cigarette (usually thats me). What think thee oh brave reader of this confusion?